Dooown the Rabbit Hole

Yesterday, much to my dismay, the retractable string that fastened my security badge to my pants snapped. I now have to carry my badge or keep it in my pocket. This was all fine and well, until I went to use the restroom this morning. Big sign on door said "Closed for Renovation" and since it's the only restroom on the floor, I stepped into the stair well to head to the floor below. Realizing, as the door slammed behind me, that the only way to get out of the stair well was with a security badge. A quick examination of all my pockets confirmed my worry- I did not have my badge. I felt suddenly trapped! But then a sign on the wall said "Exit 1st floor" with lots of red arrows pointing down. So instead of waiting for who knows how long for someone else to use the stairs (or banging on the door like a moron) I started walking down... and down... 4th floor... 3rd... 2nd... and then instead of there being a 1st floor, there was a strange turn in the staircase. And where I would have expected the 1st floor exit, there was a tiny door with a lock! I felt like Alice in Wonderland!Knowing this couldn't possibly be the end, I continued down further- where I luckily found a real 1st floor, followed the red arrows as they snaked round this sketchy hallway, and landed at a regular sized door that said:

Exit: ALARM WILL SOUND if you open this door

If you ask me, that doesn't sound like an exit at all! But a big DON'T DO IT.

Conclusion:

My only regret is that Johnny Depp did not appear. It didn't take me long to run back up to the 5th floor, where I had decided to wait until someone used the stair well. And just as I was a floor away, I heard a door open! Free at last! Upon reaching my desk, I used a binder clip to attach my badge to my pants. Special thanks to Louis Baltzley, inventor of the binder clip, for hopefully saving me from all future encounters down the rabbit hole.