Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Saga of AP, Whole Foods and the Candy Thermometer

Grocery Stores and me do not get along. The aisles. The choices. The looking and searching. My inability to see things that are right in front of my face! I am a terrible, uncomfortable grocery shopper.

I had a specific goal in mind when I entered the local Whole Foods tonight- a store I never go to alone, or for any reason of my own (my grocery needs are typically met online at FreshDirect.com). So tonight when I entered Whole Foods Tribeca, I should have guessed I'd be in for it. I kid you not, there was no back wall. The place was HUGE. There were SEVEN ROWS OF ROWS. I was looking for the baking aisle. I walked for 6 and a half minutes and finally reached the other side with no sighting. I was directed halfway back where I found the aisle I was looking for, having managed to pass it twice. I stared at the shelves. The term "Whole Foods" really means "everything's organic and you've never heard of the brand". I was further crippled. Crisco? Shortening? Why would that be easy to find? Five minutes of my life, gone. Did they have any corn syrup?? I had to call Brenda... "Corn syrup is organic" she tells me. Ten minutes, gone. I finally found "Brown Rice Syrup" and "Baking Syrup". I went with the non-specific Baking Syrup. On to the checkout. Third in line, I was almost free! The cashier rang up the first person. "I brought my own bags" they said, and the cashier smiled. Second in line! The cashier says to the man- "Did you bring your own bags?" he said, "Yes, of course!" and her friendliness continued. Suddenly I realized-wait... I don't have my own bags! My arms were full, and it was clear I was without... what was going to happen? Would she charge me extra for the brown paper bag? Would they make me shove the corn syrup and shortening in my purse?? I felt her eyes, could she tell I don't recycle?? (regularly)?? My heart was racing, it was MY TURN. I smiled, and held my breath...

The next few moments were a bit hazy, but I managed to escape with my life, sanity, and a recyclable brown paper bag holding several organic items. Things were looking up!

Halfway home I tripped and the paper handle ripped off my bag.

TO BE CONTINUED...

2 comments:

Britt said...

we are the same person.

Stephen and Debbie said...

I have another friend that wrote about her drama at the grocery store on the same day you wrote about yours! Maybe it was a full moon or something! :)